Kijiji Necklace

Monica, a woman who worked for me for years, recently lost her husband. More than anything, she was worried about the children and how they would survive without his income. As a truck driver, her husband had life insurance, and there was a payout expected — but according to Monica, it wasn’t enough.

When she told me the amount, I thought it was sufficient — until she shared her story.

Monica’s husband had three extramarital affairs. She knew about them but never confronted him. “He was a good man,” she would always say. As his wife, she took it upon herself to ensure that even the children from his mistresses had food when they needed it — even though they weren’t his biological children.

Kijiji a Swahili word that means village

“This is how we survive,” she said. “At least this way, the whole village is fed, and no child has to steal from anyone. We take care of each other.”

Whenever her husband was with one of the other women, he would tell Monica. “I liked that,” she explained, “because I always knew where he was.” The mistresses respected her, and in her village, the divorce rate is zero. “We raise happy children. They play together, grow up together, and when they’re older, they help each other — even paying school fees for the younger ones.”

To me, that is true friendship. In big cities, even siblings often refuse to help one another. But looking at it now, the ways of old were designed to make life easier. Life was about the village, not the individual. Every adult had the right to discipline a child, and I remember we could never go home and tell our mothers that Mr. So-and-So had punished us — because we’d be punished again. No adult would discipline a child without reason.

This piece is inspired by that kind of love and friendship in traditional African villages. Today, we see people fighting — even killing — over their husbands. Worse still, some women kill their husbands for insurance money so they can have it all to themselves.

This piece is for thoughtful, selfless women and men — those who understand the true meaning of community, love, and sacrifice.