Mahakama Necklace

Mahakama is a Swahili word for parliament 

This is a story my mother told me a long time ago. She was of Tswana heritage, and most of the Setswana cultural stories and traditions I know, I learned from her. As children, she would always encourage us to marry Tswana men, and she often shared the wisdom behind it.

According to Setswana tradition, a man whose wife is thin was not allowed to sit with other men in parliament — a prominent place where men gathered to make decisions about the affairs of the village. For a Motswana man, being barred from court was a great disgrace.

In this tradition, a thin woman was seen as a symbol of neglect. A well-cared-for wife was expected to be fuller in figure, a sign that her husband worked hard, provided for her, and ensured she was content and well-fed. Because of this, Batswana men took pride in working hard and giving the best to their families, especially to their wives.

My grandmother, I was told, was very tall and thin when she married my grandfather at the age of 16. Within a year, she had gained a lot of weight, and her family was extremely pleased with my grandfather — it was a sign that she was in good hands, well loved, and well taken care of.